Sparks - "Sherlock Holmes"
The Dirtbombs - "Sherlock Holmes"

Dick Colford, at 8 years old, and Walter Hannigan, at 8-and-a-half years old, were life-long enemies. Dick Colford, Dickie to his mother and teachers, was short, with his head stretched up he would just press against the flexy membrane of 4' tall. Dickie wore penny-loafers and ugly sweaters and jeans with an elastic waistband. He had no television or video games, he had only the radio and his thousand-piece puzzles of The Strand and Presidents in Time. Walter Hannigan, however, had everything. He had flatscreens and ergonomic joysticks and sugary after-school snacks (literally a cupboard with every variety from Mimis to Jackson's Jupes to Hollywagons to Jelly Turnstyles). He wore light-up shoes and fitted jeans with patterns on the pockets and t-shirts with on-purpose rips in them. He even had those God-given gifts, an extra 6" of height, and an extra 6 months of life, proof that even God favoured the favourites.

These two were life-long enemies. In a sense. In fairness, it must be said that Walter Hannigan did not know that he had a life-long enemy.

Dickie would watch Walter from the shadowy and lonely parts of the schoolyard. He would spit on the ground and step on it. He would draw pictures in the air with his finger, pictures that started with the outline of Walter, traced from watching him juggle a soccer ball in the distance for a group of girls, and then a stabbing motion. He would laugh and mutter and he was genuinely happy to have a secret punching bag for his many-pointed and overflowing energies. On the bus he would count all the times Walter said "man" or "cool", and would slap his knee loudly every time they crossed a multiple of 10. Walter would get off first, and Dickie would watch him walk past the yellow sports car to his door every single every single every single day. Dickie, turning his back to the sting of a cold September wind, had a dark glimmer of an idea.

[Buy Sparks' Angst in My Pants]
[Buy The Dirtbombs' We Have You Surrounded]