Wolf Like
by Emma
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


Sonny Smith - "Wolf Like Howls from the Bathhouse (South East Land Otter Champs)"

We're tiptoeing into the glowing edges of my favourite season now, the one where everything really starts to overlap. Past and present, day and evening, sound of rushing water through someone's open kitchen window, chorus of dogs freaking out at a nearby siren, drifts of laughter floating down from everyone's second-floor decks and settling around you as you're walking to the store. Sometimes the best way to remind yourself of the smallness of you is to go climb a mountain or stand in a very still, complicated forest. But sometimes all it takes is ten minutes of true city, the close-together-ness.

Once the night air climbs up above room temperature, Toronto starts to shake off its stiffness and be once more a place everyone uses the same way they use their houses, like to live in. A couple nights ago I was very hungover and also pretty sad so I decided to go for a walk and see if the world outside my brain had anything to offer. I'm not gonna lie: I was not hopeful. It was a full moon and everyone was going fucking crazy. A raccoon waved hello to me as he pawed through my neighbours' recycling, not breaking eye contact as he chomped into the side of an aluminum can. A group of kids drifted across the sidewalk like one of those banners pulled behind planes on a clear day, graceful and unurried and waving in the wind, but also they were all screaming very unkind things at each other. The counterpoint of everything was almost too much for me. Every couple I passed was arguing about something very serious but also kind of new: you could feel that these were exciting, sexy, charged-up early-summer worries sprouting from the wreck of winter's worn-out ones.

It got darker and I was still walking. I was tired and I wanted to go home but I also did not want to leave without discovering some kind of magic. And then I saw something, just as I was about to turn back around, at the mouth of a sidestreet I would not have otherwise looked down. It looked so beautiful and strange and confusing against the bruised sky of almost-late-night that it made me feel as though my veins were filled with glitter.

I can't tell you what it was. Or, I guess, I am not going to tell you what it was, because you would not believe me: it would seem too convenient, too wonderfully strange, too much of a device. But it was there, and as I stood there all frozen and marvelling, suddenly completely alone, breeze and streetlights and distant car-sounds and soft light thrown from people's uncurtained living rooms, I felt not for the first time in recent memory a strong awareness of the fact that my life is shot through with a level of wonder that far outpaces and exceeds what I might necessarily deserve. This song was playing in my headphones.

[buy 100 Records Vol. 3]

Posted by Emma at June 11, 2017 7:57 PM

That last paragraph is completely wonderful. Here's to more moments of marveling.

Posted by Philana at June 17, 2017 1:48 PM

Perfect post. Perfect song.

Posted by Michelle at July 28, 2017 10:13 PM

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This is a daily sampler of really good songs. All tracks are posted out of love. Please go out and buy the records.

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Said the Gramophone launched in March 2003, and added songs in November of that year. It was one of the world's first mp3blogs.

If you would like to say hello, find out our mailing addresses or invite us to shows, please get in touch:
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"And I shall watch the ferry-boats / and they'll get high on a bluer ocean / against tomorrow's sky / and I will never grow so old again."
about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

Jeff Miller is a Montreal-based writer and zinemaker. He is the author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True and a bunch of other stories. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Say hello on Twitter or email.

Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

Site design and header typography by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet. The header graphic is randomized: this one is by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet.
Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
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st-viateur bagel
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drawn + quarterly
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blue skies turn black
montreal improv theatre
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Cult Montreal
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