The Pathetic and Elegant - "And You're Still Here" [Buy]

So I updated my IOS on my iphone4 and my ipad.

Well, for my iphone 4, people told me not to update so it was an accident. So far seems fine. People also told me to walk like a penguin when sidewalks are icy because penguins got its center of balance right so I did walk like a penguin but I fell on ice like an penguin too. Never trust anyone.

Anyways, to update your IOS, Steve Jobs asks me to log into Apple ID or whatever iCloud or something. The problem is that I barely log into Apple ID or iCloud so I don't remember the password. I have two passwords I use mainly for things like email log in etc. Obviously, I won't tell you but they are band names from 90's.

Let's say, those band names I use often are collective soul and soul asylum.

Oh! and at least, one of the letter has to be upper case.

cOllective sOul ? or sOul asylum ?

And they ask to have numbers in my password to be strong!

cOllective sOul69 ? or sOul69asylum ?

All of these combined, the possibility is infinite to me.

3.14ColleCtivesoul ? or sOUL3.1495ASylum ?

Because every time, I try to log in to download app or something, I don't remember and I try so many times and the account log in gets locked out for security reason. Then, I have to click "forget password" with email address and it says "wrong email." Then, I click on "forget your email" and go through it. I felt like a hacker trying to get into pentagon or FBI but in this case, my own brain is the highly secured information.

Because, I reset passwords so many times, now they started to say, "you can't use same password used within an year."

fuck sakes! I just wanted to type eatshitasshole for my password.

anyways, I calmed down and realized it was just a first world problem. So I had a glass of milk and started to watch food documentary on Netflix eating melon ice cream

but then, wi-fi was glitchy like Aphex Twin song.

Fuck! I said it again but realized it was another first world problem so I went to bed dreamed about world with free wi-fi.

The end (sorry for bad language parental discretion wasn't advised but it's human nature.)

Alvvays - "Next of Kin"

Walking down the rocky beach is a good way to spend an afternoon, especially if the wind is up to keep the bugs off. Sometimes at the head of the beach a golden dog barks at us from a house in the distance, but he means no harm. Walking on rocks requires care and balance, looking down and putting a foot on one rock and the other foot on another and trying not to slip. At the pond a frightened duck always flies off in a perfectly straight line. Further down the beach I once saw an eagle up close, and another time an osprey dove into the harbour and flew off with a wriggling fish in its talons.

A ways past the old camp there are a few patches of salicornia growing along the shore of the marsh. Standing a few centimetres tall, they grow in clumps, and look like tiny trees from another planet. I crouch down and pick the stems, making sure not to tear out the root. They're salty, but also moist and incredibly fresh tasting. After a bit of snacking we continue on to the headland, or past it, and then turn around and go back home for supper.

[buy]

(photo by Spike)

Chairs - "Animals". A gorgeous, strange, strained cut of dappled pop. Like a giraffe's neck, a giraffe's-neck of a song; and the thick jade leaves, the sound of chewing. A sunbeam can page through you like a book, make certain things clear. "We're all animals / don't try to tell me." But then the light changes; clouds, clouds. And: "We're not animals." Which would you rather? To be an animal, not to be an animal? It depends on the masters, the pastures, the other animals in your paddock. It depends on the trees and their thick jade leaves.

Riddles are good for us. They teach us that answers that can be found, that there are truths hiding inside the things that confound us. And so I am very grateful to Chairs. A band from Montreal that records fascinating riddles. Gorgeous, strange, strained, fascinating riddles - a sour pop sound that grows like a crystal, slightly more expansive with every passing bar, every passing listen. Some guitars and some echo, some voices and reverb, it don't take much; not in the right hands, before the right mics, or from atop the right steeds. Recommended.

[bandcamp]

(photo by Alexey Trofimov, via National Geographic)

I just remembered the time in Grade 7 or something. I was sick but there was a science test I had to take so I had to go to school. My rose was running like Rivers Runs Through It. RIP River Phoenix. I was quite sick.

So during the science test, obviously, my head was spinning and dizziness got to me and I couldn't think fast enough for the questions.

"What is Mass/Energy formula?" my answer "E=MC5" oh ya that's a band.
"About 70% of the earth's surface is covered with ----fill in the blank----." my answer Assholes!

It wasn't exactly like that. I just made these answers up now but Im sure I was answering pretty dumb. I don't remember.

So it was taking quite a long time to finish this test. Then, I sneezed hard and of course, I covered my mouth with my right hand not to spread this germs. I recently watched Outbreak featuring Morgan Freeman so I was extra conscious. I looked at my hand and there was a huge mucus and snot combined. I could describe it in detail but I already talk about farting and pooping and stuff here on STG so I stop now. Im 35 years old now and don't wanna sound like 13 years old anymore. Well, I can email you in 10 pages PDF files if you'd like.

I had mucus and snot in my right hand. I should have asked to go to the bathroom but there was only short time left to complete the test so I held my right hand hiding snots etc. and had to act fast. Just like the movie Outbreak.

I did completed the test. But I think I got like 40% or something dumb as usual. hahaha.

After the test, my friend asked me if I was cheating. He said that I looked like I was hiding cheating notes on right hand. But I told him, I was holding snots. We loled and Outbreak was prevented.

The end.