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Apoptosis
by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.
It's Friday night, and I'm in line again for the bathroom. Unwisely, an unknown (to me) world government organization has decided, sometime in the last year or so, to toilet train the entire world. But, like, everything. Dogs and cats were the easiest, then rodents, birds, and bugs. Large mammals and large reptiles, bears elephants crocs and gilas, have all learned to use the bathroom in an anthropoid manner. Weirdly enough, this was effective in eliminating old notions of property, since you're constantly barraged with animals big and small, ringing your doorbell and politely asking to use the loo, meanwhile, 15 of their friends are sneaking in your window to hog the commode. Futurists are predicting the Toilet Wars will arise within the next year or so, erupting most likely, they say, from a breakdown of one of the very lines I'm currently standing in. But we all know, this won't be a war for Toilets, as the politicians will try to portray it, it will be a war for the hearts and minds of all dignified entities on earth, wishing to eliminate their waste in a dignified way. And that is something worth fighting for. Arrows, and arrows, and arrows, and arrows. And eros. And arrows. [MySpace][Released May 26][on the increasingly unstoppable In The Red Records][more from In The Red soon] Posted by Dan at April 24, 2009 11:33 PMComments
I loved reading that. Really loved it. Posted by Vinchenzo Liloso at April 25, 2009 6:54 PMHeh, this was great! Posted by Marc at April 25, 2009 7:35 PMwhat do they have to do with wounded lion? same band? just a cover? or another collective thing? like the wounded lion, sounds like they listened to a few new zealand bands. which aint band mind...love that big rock and roll circle. Posted by Belly Hop at April 26, 2009 8:42 PM@ belly hop: i think intell and wounded lion are buddies. the dude from wl sings on the song "singles barge" on the new intelligence album. & yr right, they both have that kiwi sound. Posted by me at April 27, 2009 10:15 AMThat person's toes are like my toes, with less hair! Posted by hairy web-toes. at April 28, 2009 2:04 PMthis is fantastic. Posted by karin at April 29, 2009 6:02 AMwhat the hell is wrong with your toes!!!! 3: Posted by kaufman at May 4, 2009 7:52 PMjust wanted to take a minute to tell you that you have a great site! Keep up the good work. Posted by Apoptosis at February 1, 2011 2:45 AMPost a comment |
 about said the gramophone
this is a daily sampler of really good songs. all tracks are posted out of love. please go out and buy the records!
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all songs are removed within a week or two of posting. said the gramophone launched in march 2003, and added songs in november of that year. it was one of the world's very first mp3blogs. if you would like to say hello, find out our mailing addresses or invite us to shows, please get in touch: montreal, canada: sean toronto, canada: jordan montreal, canada: dan please don't send us emails with tons of huge attachments; if emailing a bunch of mp3s etc, use a service like MailBigFile. if you are the copyright holder of any song posted here, please contact us if you would like the song taken down early. please do not direct link to any of these tracks. please love and wonder. "and i shall watch the ferry-boats / and they'll get high on a bluer ocean / against tomorrow's sky / and i will never grow so old again." we are a member of MBV.
about the authors
Sean Michaels lives in Montreal, where he is writing a novel. His work also occasionally appears at McSweeney's. Follow him on Twitter or reach him here.
Dan Beirne is an actor and writer living in Montreal. He writes fiction fiction fiction on here. It may feel true, but it is never True. He is most proud of his most recent project The Bitter End. Email him here Jordan Himelfarb lives in Toronto, where he is editor in chief of The Mark. Jordan's posts appear at Said the Gramophone only on the last Wednesday of every month. Email him here. Site design and header typography by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet. The header graphic is randomized: this one is by . 
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