Crash Test Dummies
by Mitz
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.

 
Radiant Baby - "Snail On TV" Radiant Baby - "You can dance" Radiant Baby - "Save me from myself" [Buy]

We were on the way to our show in my '98 Subaru which has a huge rust hole in the door. It holds my phone like a rustic artisan docking station. I used to have a '97 Toyota so my next car will be perhaps be a '99 Honda? Slowly moving up to date. I wonder if in 2032, i will be driving a 2004 model, or by the time, hopefully i'll be driving car fueled by my own farts which would be great for environment.

We were at the light and got rear-ended. Just a little bump like someone who taps you on the shoulder but still surprises you a little bit. I got out and checked the ass of my car. It was fine, dirty and wrinkled, with a bit of paint chipping as usual. I saw the guy who bumped into me still sitting in his van. I went up and talked to him. His van was so dirty probably a mid 90s or even early 90s model van and on his empty passenger seat, there were two bags of chips open which he was eating and continued to eat while I talked to him. On the back seat, there was a baby sitting in a baby seat. "I'm sorry, i wasn't paying attention." he said still finishing his last bite of chips. He was probably paying attention to the chips. He seems sincere and I was fascinated by this weird situation. I just said, "no worries. my car is old anyways, careful next time." he said "thanks. mine too!" It was a weird and slightly awkward moment, the kind I love. The baby was completely un-phased.

Maybe he was thinking about how he wants to be a better father and was reading 'Parenting for Dummies' while driving. I dunno. I wish the best for him and his family.

We got to the show and played. I thought if it would be funny if we played that show with all the band members wearing neck braces from imaginary whiplash and we would call ourselves, Crash Test Dummies. But we didn't.

Posted by Mitz at September 23, 2015 4:03 PM
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about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

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Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

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