Syl Johnson - "I Hate I Walked Away"

"I Hate I Walked Away" is a self-flagellation of sorts, an abasement of every atom of Syl Johnson's being. The song regards a bed that Johnson made, but in which he does not wish to lie. He hurt a woman who loved him, broke her trust, and now he wants her back. SJ knows that he's not going to reingratiate himself with his ex-lover by buying her something expensive or by serenading her with one of his lascivious love songs. He's learned from experience that he cannot win her back in a duel or pay for her hand with a dowry. A smart man, a man of learning and notable scholarly skill, Johnson understands that a simple apology won't undo his romantic apostasy. Instead he prostrates himself, admits to his misdeeds and begs for forgiveness he knows he doesn't deserve. When he eventually sings the words "I'm sorry," he does so in a perverse, spasmodic falsetto that sounds more inwardly directed than not - a public self-punishment more than an apology. Finally, helpless and at the mercy of another, he opens himself up completely, revealing a moribund machinery: organs and strings, heads and skins, sticks and brass, chords and time. A wise gambit in that it's an honest one - a compelling closing statement that communicates his affection, regret and desire while recognizing the inevitable supremacy of his lover's discretion.

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