I haven't seen her in ages. We used to go out in high school, but a lot has changed since then. I'm married now, I've got Jared, who she's never met, and I weigh a bunch more (ha ha). I've found myself guessing what she's like now, I picture her face on a slightly taller body with a bit more wrinkles. She was funny, like a bit crazy, she would make weird sounds and motions with her hands. But I liked her a lot, and I'm thinking about her. Why do I keep thinking about her? I feel like I shouldn't, but it doesn't matter, I'll just go watch her band and say hello and we'll chat about our lives and that'll be it. But I keep thinking about what seeing her will be like. What will her band sound like? Maybe like soft folk or alt country. No, probably not. Maybe. I don't know! She's still kind of a mystery to me, a bit. I guess that's why I'm thinking about her so much. She used to wear a leather jacket that had a big picture of Bill Cosby on the back. And she wore a leopard-print skirt that the teachers used to look at and scowl but never said anything about. I was kinda proud that someone so weird liked me. I wonder what her band will sound like.

Finally Punk - "Piranha"

[Buy something, anything]

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Piranha-related content: Tom Scharpling held a 6-hour Best Show a few weeks ago, and Paul Scheer made an incredible call about being on the set of Piranha 3-D. It's 23:14, so you know.