It's been 18 months since I first wrote about Withered Hand's debut LP, Good News, and this terrific track. But it's taken 18 months for North America to catch up with what my Scottish friends have been saying for yonks, in emails and crackly Skype calls: Withered Hand, aka Edinburgh's Dan Willson, is the realest of deals, a songwriter with a quiver full of arrows, a voice that, er, lunges for the throat.
"Hard On" is a cover of a song by Charles Latham. Ultimately, I wrote, it concerns erections, but mostly it's about the intersection between yearning and doing. Withered Hand has realised the sound of yearning: it's this, simple and splendid and fierce. It's a chant that keeps changing, with words like flashpaper. Listen to the way he sings man, good, could, knife, car, go, FM radio, guitars, Thin Lizzy, pen, John Updike, hard-on. Each one, carelessly cast, could start a housefire.
"Hard On" is scruffy and sincere, but neither banal nor precious. Willson sings it like he's learned some things on lonely roads and bathroom walls - he hasn't yet figured out how to live, but he's figured out the way living is gonna rhyme.
On March 15, Absolutely Kosher - the label which helped along the Wrens, the Mountain Goats, Frog Eyes and more - is reissuing Good News in the United States and Canada. To celebrate, they've given us some Withered Hand goodies for a contest. Inevitably, we have one copy of the vinyl LP up for grabs, but also a second, grand prize: Absolutely Kosher's deluxe Good News box set, which includes the CD album, another disc with Withered Hand's preceding EPs and unreleased material, buttons, stickers, and a signed note and drawing by Mr Willson himself. All this, in a hand-numbered and decorated box. There are only 200 of these things, and, um, one of them is for one of you.
To enter our Withered Hand contest, leave a comment on this post with an imagined headline, all in caps. This headline should be the headline for the best-ever piece of good news. Good News, get it? Here are some examples:
SHE LOVES YOU
ICE-CREAM ELECTED KING
Enter as many times as you like, with separate comments. Contest closes at 11:59pm on Wednesday, March 9, and we'll pick our two favourites.
UPDATE: CONTEST WINNERS!
There were 175 extraordinary entries for this contest - view them all. Such amazing, hilarious, poignant, ridiculous headlines. I wish we could have given out twenty prizes, but alas there are just two. Here were my favourites:
LOTS OF DANCING (Bries)
SEANCE ELICITS NEW COLLABORATION FROM GEORGE HARRISON/GRAM PARSONS/ALEX CHILTON AND ANYONE ELSE YOU'D EVER WANT IN AN AFTERLIFE SUPERGROUP; B/W NEW MITCH HEDBERG ROUTINE (glg)
IT ALL LASTS AS LONG AS YOU LIKE (Ronnie)
A HARD ON DOES MEAN YOU'RE IN LOVE (Julian)
TODAY IS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY (karpe)
SHE'S DOING JUST FINE (Billy)
GROUCHO MARX SHOOTS ELEPHANT IN HIS PAJAMAS (john governale)
FARM OUT IN THE COUNTRY FOUND, ALL PETS RETURNED TO THEIR OWNERS (matt)
YOU WERE RIGHT! (Nicola)
SAD MAN WINS GRAND PRIZE (noone)
GOD ACCEPTS YOUR RACQUETBALL CHALLENGE, WANTS TO "MAKE IT INTERESTING" (Freezerburn)
SECOND PLACE: PRESIDENT DECLARES BONUS LEVEL (ryan)
FIRST PLACE: YOUR PARENTS WILL LIVE FOREVER (josh)
If you missed the contest, never fear: buy Good News or the box set. Listen in full on Bandcamp. Withered Hand is playing SXSW and a couple of west coast US dates. Visit his website. Thanks to Shaker Maker PR and Absolutely Kosher for this invitation.
Posted by Sean at March 3, 2011 10:00 AMGOOD NEWS AWARDED NOBEL PRIZE
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 10:51 AMEVERYTHING IS FUCKING AWESOME TODAY
Posted by Josh Daube at March 3, 2011 10:51 AMYOU WON
Posted by josh at March 3, 2011 10:52 AMMUSIC WORLD ROCKED BY GOOD NEWS
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 10:52 AMIs this just for US readers?
GLOBAL WARMING IS NOT REAL, WORLD LIVES ON
its all I can come up with just now
Posted by Craig at March 3, 2011 10:54 AMINNOCUOUS STRAIN OF HEROIN CREATED
Posted by josh at March 3, 2011 10:54 AM"WE'VE GOT GOOD NEWS" APPLE ANNOUNCES
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 10:57 AMYOUR PARENTS WILL LIVE FOREVER
Posted by josh at March 3, 2011 10:59 AMGOOD NEWS SWEEPS GRAMMYS
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 11:00 AMDOCTORS COME UP WITH CURE FOR SADNESS AND DEATH
Posted by Craig at March 3, 2011 11:00 AMDEATH ERADICATED
Posted by lum at March 3, 2011 11:02 AM"BELIEVE ME, I'VE BEEN THERE" CLINTON SAYS
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 11:03 AMALL NUCLEAR WEAPONS TURN TO CHEESE
Posted by lum at March 3, 2011 11:04 AMJESUS RETURNS - EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.
Posted by lum at March 3, 2011 11:15 AMRAIN CEASES, STILL CLOUDY
Posted by Billy at March 3, 2011 11:41 AMAIR CONDITIONER WORKS ALWAYS
Posted by Billy at March 3, 2011 11:43 AMSHOCKING STUDY: EVERYTHING BAD FOR YOU NOW GOOD.
Posted by resakaye at March 3, 2011 11:48 AMBEER IS EFFECTIVE WEIGHT LOSS SUPPLEMENT
Posted by resakaye at March 3, 2011 11:49 AMEDICT FROM POPE: ALL DOGS DO GO TO HEAVEN
Posted by resakaye at March 3, 2011 11:50 AMSCIENTISTS GROW VEGAN BEEF, GREAT IN TACOS
Posted by Billy at March 3, 2011 11:55 AMLATE MOM'S LOST RECIPE DISCOVERED: SECRET INGREDIENTS LOVE, PANKO CRUMBS
Posted by Billy at March 3, 2011 11:58 AMSCIENTIFIC STUDY SHOWS YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG
Posted by Ryan at March 3, 2011 12:02 PMPRESIDENT DECLARES BONUS LEVEL
Posted by Ryan at March 3, 2011 12:13 PMLOCAL GIRL HASN'T CHANGED AFTER ALL
Posted by Billy at March 3, 2011 12:18 PMRELIGIOUS WAR OVER; EVERYBODY AGREES ON LOVE OF PUPPIES
Posted by resakaye at March 3, 2011 12:25 PMSUCCESSFUL MERGING OF RED WINE AND DARK CHOCOLATE BOOSTS LIBIDO, IMPROVES SEX LIFE
Posted by resakaye at March 3, 2011 12:27 PMBLOWJOBS - THREE FOR A POUND
Posted by Hugh at March 3, 2011 12:44 PMSMOKING, BACON FOUND TO BE GOOD FOR YOU; SMOKING BACON EVEN MORE SO
Posted by glg at March 3, 2011 1:01 PMEVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS (UNLESS YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF THING)
Posted by resakaye at March 3, 2011 1:22 PMSEANCE ELICITS NEW COLLABORATION FROM GEORGE HARRISON/GRAM PARSONS/ALEX CHILTON AND ANYONE ELSE YOU'D EVER WANT IN AN AFTERLIFE SUPERGROUP; B/W NEW MITCH HEDBERG ROUTINE
Posted by glg at March 3, 2011 1:29 PMFUZZY WUZZY WAS A WOMAN
Posted by Hugh at March 3, 2011 1:30 PMFRANCE COVERED IN STAMPS
Posted by Adam at March 3, 2011 1:46 PMYOU ARE LOVED
Posted by josh at March 3, 2011 2:08 PMIT'S OKAY
Posted by beatrice at March 3, 2011 3:12 PMTHATCHER DEAD
Posted by Jules at March 3, 2011 3:31 PMSCIENTISTS DISCOVER CURE FOR THE COMMON DEATH
Posted by Flo at March 3, 2011 3:34 PMGROUCHO MARX SHOOTS ELEPHANT IN HIS PAJAMAS
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 4:01 PMWORLD LEADERS WALK AND CHEW GUM AT SAME TIME
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 4:03 PMBUDDY HOLLY DISCOVERED LIVING IN WOODS NEAR CRASH SITE; SPENT LAST 52 YEARS WRITING SONGS;DON MCLEAN TO DONATE AMERICAN PIE ROYALTIES TO HELP HOLLY RECORD
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 4:14 PMBOXES OF SCRATCH SOLD IN STORES; NOW EVERYONE COOKS LIKE MOM
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 4:19 PMSCIENTISTS HAVE CONFIRMED THAT LIFE IS WORTH LIVING
Posted by Josh Daube at March 3, 2011 4:30 PMWIKILEAKS RELEASES STRONG BAD'S EMAILS; "WHAT THE CRAP?" EXCLAIMS STRONG BAD AS HE PUNCHES ASSANGE IN THE FACE
Posted by John Governale at March 3, 2011 4:31 PMGOD IS (NOT) DEAD
Posted by josh at March 3, 2011 4:32 PMRADIOHEAD DISBANDS, ADMITS POST-OK COMPUTER PRANK
Posted by noone at March 3, 2011 5:05 PMMICKEY ROONEY V CONGRESS DVD ANNOUNCED
Posted by noone at March 3, 2011 5:54 PMstrike that. MICKEY ROONEY V CONGRESS SERIES ANNOUNCED
Posted by noone at March 3, 2011 5:57 PMSAD MAN WINS GRAND PRIZE
Posted by noone at March 3, 2011 6:04 PMGOOD NEWS BAFFLES PESSIMISTS WORLDWIDE
Posted by Flo at March 3, 2011 6:34 PMIT ALL LASTS AS LONG AS YOU LIKE
Posted by Ronnie at March 3, 2011 6:56 PMTHEY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND YES, THEY FEEL THE SAME AS YOU
Posted by Matt at March 3, 2011 8:11 PMFARM OUT IN THE COUNTRY FOUND, ALL PETS RETURNED TO THEIR OWNERS
Posted by Matt at March 3, 2011 8:12 PMARCADE FIRE GRAMMY AWARD NOT A JOKE
Posted by Matt at March 3, 2011 8:13 PMSCIENTISTS: HEAVEN AND DRAGONS EXIST
Conventional Weapons Defunct, War To Be Fought With Unicorns Instead
Posted by Em at March 3, 2011 9:54 PMCOLD FUSION REAL, FLEISCHMANN-PONS VINDICATED
Posted by jay at March 3, 2011 11:19 PMMTV BANKRUPT AND OFF THE AIR.
Posted by Scott at March 3, 2011 11:21 PMSERENITY NOW
Posted by benjamin at March 4, 2011 12:56 AMWE WERE ONLY KIDDING EXCEPT WHEN YOU WERE HAPPY
Posted by Bries at March 4, 2011 2:10 AMLOTS OF DANCING
Posted by Bries at March 4, 2011 2:11 AMECONOMISTS DETERMINE THAT MONEY ACTUALLY CAN BUY HAPPINESS, NOW ON SALE: 4 FOR $1.
Posted by David at March 4, 2011 3:07 AMUNITED NATIONS DECLARE DAYS ARE NOW 30 HOURS LONG, EXTRA TIME TO BE ADDED TO SNOOZE BUTTON
Posted by david at March 4, 2011 3:14 AMWORLD REALIZES MONEY IS FAKE, STARTS SHARING
Posted by David at March 4, 2011 3:17 AMSNOW DAY
Posted by David at March 4, 2011 3:19 AMWORLD'S HUNGER, HEALTHCARE, AND CLIMATE CHANGE TO BE TAKEN CARE OF BY END OF DAY
Posted by Celina at March 4, 2011 3:29 AMSHOEGAZE REVIVAL CONQUERS WORLD, RIDE NO.1 IN 27 COUNTRIES
Posted by Ed at March 4, 2011 4:42 AMIT'S RAINING CAKE!
Posted by Catherine at March 4, 2011 6:17 AMMAYAN SCREW-UP UNVEILS ETERNITY
Posted by Ryan at March 4, 2011 8:00 AMEXTRA TERRESTRIALS FOUND, B.F.F.
Posted by Ryan at March 4, 2011 8:06 AMHATE MELTS ICE CAPS;
SOLUTION OBVIOUS
DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION
TOPPLES AWKWARD TYRANT
SOMEONE LOVES ME
Posted by David at March 4, 2011 6:28 PMYES! PIGS CAN FLY!
Posted by ru at March 4, 2011 6:57 PMDEWEY DEFEATS LOVE.
Posted by maystephen at March 4, 2011 7:53 PMNEVER SAY NEVER
Posted by Suzanne at March 4, 2011 8:25 PMSCIENTISTS FIND CURE FOR CANCER
CHEAP MILK STAYS AS DAIRY WAR BUILDS UP
Posted by Vidhi Shah at March 5, 2011 1:42 AMHE REMEMBERED
Posted by Priya at March 5, 2011 4:46 AMPOLITICIAN GROWS CONSCIENCE
Posted by Jake at March 5, 2011 8:36 AMELVIS FOUND WORKING AS ELVIS IMPERSONATOR, CLAIMS FANS WERE CRUEL.
Posted by John Governale at March 5, 2011 10:53 AMOBAMA'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE FOUND, HAWAIIAN OFFICIAL SAYS IT'S COMMON FOR SUCH DOCUMENTS TO BE WRITTEN IN SWAHILI
Posted by John Governale at March 5, 2011 10:59 AMDISNEY SUES TWITTER, CITES BAMBI'S USE OF TWITTERPATED; TWITTER INC. FILES 140 CHARACTER COUNTERSUIT
Posted by John Governale at March 5, 2011 11:13 AMGOLDEN AGE COMING : WE NEED YOU
Posted by Jérôme M at March 5, 2011 12:37 PMCOOL STORY, BRO
DETAILS ON PAGE A7
BE HAPPY
Posted by Vanessa at March 5, 2011 6:45 PMGood news for people who like good news: LAUGHTER AS BEST MEDICINE: FACT!
Posted by Andy McGee at March 5, 2011 7:49 PMEVERYTHING REMEMBERED IS FORGIVEN
Posted by tangramtiger at March 5, 2011 7:56 PMWORLD AGREES ON NEW GOLDEN RULE
DON'T BE A DICK
US OFFICIALDOM SEES SENSE, WITHERED HAND GRANTED LAST MINUTE VISA FOR SXSW
Posted by Dan at March 6, 2011 11:38 AMLIGHT IS GREEN, KEEP GOING
Posted by thunderclap at March 6, 2011 1:28 PMHARD OFF
Posted by Morgan at March 6, 2011 2:44 PMNO PROBLEM
Posted by Lex at March 6, 2011 4:37 PMGOOD NEWS 4 PPL WHO LIKE GOOD NEWS
Posted by Orlando at March 6, 2011 5:07 PMALL YOUR HEADLINES ARE BELONG TO US
Posted by John Governale at March 6, 2011 7:42 PMIGPA ATINLA ERAY ACESPLA EETLA EAKSPA
(In the dialect spoken in my childhood, distinct syllables were treated as separate words. ourya ileagema amay aryva.)
Posted by John Governale at March 6, 2011 8:08 PMDIFFERENCES RESOLVED, WORLD LEADERS AGREE TO SPLIT TIP ACCORDING TO WHAT THEY ORDERED
Posted by tangramtiger at March 6, 2011 11:20 PMNO MORE COUNTRIES. EVERYONE AGREES TO BE NICE.
Posted by josh at March 6, 2011 11:41 PMIT'S OKAY; IT'S ACTUALLY OKAY
Posted by karpe at March 7, 2011 1:29 AMSPRING IS FINALLY HERE
Posted by molly at March 7, 2011 3:14 AMYOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER
Posted by karpe at March 7, 2011 3:21 AMTODAY IS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY
Posted by karpe at March 7, 2011 3:22 AMREALITY TV EXPOSED. EVERYTHING IS SCRIPTED, GO OUT AND LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE.
Posted by Scott at March 7, 2011 9:55 AMCHARLES BARKLEY ELECTED KING OF THE HUMANS
Posted by James at March 7, 2011 10:31 AMENDLESS BREADSTICKS
Posted by James at March 7, 2011 10:36 AMSCIENCE TRIUMPHS OVER NATURE: KITTENS NO LONGER BECOME CATS BUT STAY KITTENS FOREVER
TIME MACHINE WORKS, GRANDMA PARADOX CAN BE AVOIDED
Posted by stephan!e at March 7, 2011 12:43 PM
EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS
THE WAR IS OVER
Posted by stephan!e at March 7, 2011 12:44 PMGOODBYE NEEDLES, VACCINES NOW DELIVERED VIA PUPPY KISSES
Posted by stephan!e at March 7, 2011 12:50 PMCHARLIE SHEEN SELF-ADMITS TO DETOX CLINIC, TIGERBLOOD JOKES COME TO IMMEDIATE HALT, LIFE RESUMES PREVIOUS VIGOR
Posted by stephan!e at March 7, 2011 1:05 PMCHILDHOOD TOYS COME TO LIFE
(SO FAR, NOT EVIL)
NICE GUYS FINISH JOINT FIRST,
SHARE WINNINGS WITH EVERYONE
SUN VOWS TO LIVE FOREVER
Posted by Snow at March 7, 2011 1:44 PMYOU'RE HIRED
Posted by Snow at March 7, 2011 1:46 PMBY 2012 A PIZZA OVEN IN EVERYONE'S HOUSE; UNLIMITED TOPPINGS
Posted by Snow at March 7, 2011 1:47 PMSMOKING WON'T KILL YOU
Posted by moss at March 7, 2011 3:02 PMTHERE WON'T BE BLOOD
Posted by Billy at March 7, 2011 4:00 PMI CAUGHT THEM ALL
Posted by b at March 7, 2011 4:03 PMLOCAL BOY FINDS GOLDEN TICKET, WONKA FACTORY REAL
Posted by Billy at March 7, 2011 4:08 PMSHE'S DOING JUST FINE
Posted by Billy at March 7, 2011 4:09 PMYOU GET PAID WELL FOR DOING WHAT YOU LOVE
Posted by Billy at March 7, 2011 4:16 PMSHE MISSES YOU TOO
Posted by Josh at March 7, 2011 4:18 PMTHE GIG IS UP: ALL VEGANS TO BEGIN ENJOYING LIFE
Posted by Sonja at March 7, 2011 4:25 PMYOU WERE RIGHT!
Posted by Nicola at March 7, 2011 4:58 PMTHE LAST THING YOU WANT TO HEAR ERADICATED FROM ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
Posted by Ben at March 7, 2011 5:43 PMWEEK ALMOST OVER
Posted by Billy at March 7, 2011 6:52 PMSound Fuels Eco-Friendly Automobile
IT WAS ALL A DREAM
Posted by Strib at March 7, 2011 10:13 PMRESEARCH SHOWS YOU CAN DO ANYTHING BY USING YoUr iMaGiNaTiOn
Posted by Strib at March 7, 2011 10:18 PMSCIENTISTS PROVE ARC OF MORAL UNIVERSE BENDS TOWARD JUSTICE
NOBEL PEACE PRIZE AWARDED TO XKCD FOR 'REALLY CUTE BLOG POST'
Posted by Jim at March 7, 2011 10:49 PMTEXAS, NEW YORK SOLVE WITHERED HAND VISA CRISIS BY SECEDING. DOMINO EFFECT ANTICIPATED AS VERMONT PLANS UPRISING FOR FRIDAY. PHILATELISTS WORLDWIDE "CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC"
Posted by Nine at March 8, 2011 2:08 AMWITHERED HAND GETS HIS FUCKING VISA.
Posted by Mark Hamilton at March 8, 2011 4:35 AMGENTLE KINDNESS WINS UFC
Posted by Julian at March 8, 2011 6:52 AMHEAD ISSUES FORMAL APOLOGY TO HEART
Posted by Ryan at March 8, 2011 8:31 AMALABAMA ARKANSAS EDMONTON!
Posted by Brody Irvine at March 8, 2011 8:32 AMGLOBAL
ORGASM
BAFFLES
BOFFINS
HAPPINESS IS NOT A MYTH
Posted by Meaghan at March 8, 2011 6:14 PMTESTING DEEMED INACCURATE METHOD OF PROVING INTELLIGENCE, WILL NO LONGER BE NECESSARY TO GET INTO COLLEGE
Posted by Meaghan at March 8, 2011 6:16 PMNARWHALS FOUND TO BE DIRECTLY EVOLVED FROM UNICORNS
Posted by Meaghan at March 8, 2011 6:20 PMYOU'RE EVEN PRETTIER WHEN I'M SOBER
Posted by Meaghan at March 8, 2011 6:25 PMJERSEY SHORE CANCELED: BRAIN CELL GENOCIDE COMES TO END
Posted by Meaghan at March 8, 2011 6:30 PMA HARD ON DOES MEAN YOU'RE IN LOVE
Posted by Julian at March 8, 2011 6:39 PMMONSTERS MAKE LOVE TO SKELETONS IN CLOSET
Posted by Sonja at March 8, 2011 7:00 PMWE WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK NOW.
Posted by Guy at March 8, 2011 7:18 PMNEW GRAPH ALLOWS EVERYONE TO UNDERSTAND THE FIFTH DIMENSION
Posted by James at March 8, 2011 7:54 PMI DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO USE MY AK, TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY.
Posted by Scott at March 8, 2011 10:28 PMALL LANGUAGES FORGOTTEN, EVERYONE TO COMMUNICATE WITH HUGS
Posted by tangramtiger at March 9, 2011 12:13 AMINTENSIVE TEENAGE ONANISM CURES CANCER IN KITTENS
Posted by Freezerburn at March 9, 2011 2:03 AMMOTLEY CRUE GUITARIST AND FLEETWOOD MAC SINGER RE-EDIT HERMAPHRODITIC PORN FILMS: SIXX AND NICKS FIX "CHICKS WITH STICKS" FLICKS
Posted by Freezerburn at March 9, 2011 2:42 AMINCESSANT FLATULENCE SEXY, SAYS LOCAL BAND OF SUPERMODELS
Posted by Freezerburn at March 9, 2011 2:47 AMYOUR MOM WAS RIGHT: YOU ARE COOL!
Posted by Freezerburn at March 9, 2011 2:47 AMHEAVEN EXISTS, RIFE WITH TAPIOCA PUDDING
Posted by Freezerburn at March 9, 2011 2:48 AMGOD ACCEPTS YOUR RACQUETBALL CHALLENGE, WANTS TO "MAKE IT INTERESTING"
Posted by Freezerburn at March 9, 2011 2:51 AMREPEATED TYPING OF WORD "SONGS" ADDS ESTIMABLE GIRTH TO YOUR JUNK
Posted by Freezerburn at March 9, 2011 2:52 AMFREE HAAGEN DAZS MIDNIGHT DAZZLER FROZEN DESSERT
Posted by FJoel at March 9, 2011 9:13 AMSCIENTISTS: THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A FREE LUNCH
Posted by FJoel at March 9, 2011 9:27 AMFACEBOOK FRIENDS NOW REAL FRIENDS
Posted by FJoel at March 9, 2011 10:19 AMWAR IS OVER! (EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT IT)
Posted by FJoel at March 9, 2011 11:15 AMYOU'LL LIVE!
Posted by J at March 9, 2011 11:41 AMFENRIR CALLS OFF RAGNARÖK;
SUN REPORTEDLY "RELIEVED"
JAMIE XX REMIXES THE WORLD.
Posted by Tom at March 9, 2011 1:09 PMNEW ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT EPISODES BEGIN AIRING NEXT WEEK
Posted by Kevin at March 9, 2011 3:03 PMEARTH WINS
Posted by James at March 9, 2011 3:36 PMALL GLOBES REVEALED TO BE SECRET MINIBARS
Posted by James at March 9, 2011 4:51 PMPANDA BEARS COLLECTIVELY VOW NEVER TO MAUL PEOPLE WHO ATTEMPT TO HUG THEM, PROMISE TO HUG BACK
Posted by James at March 9, 2011 5:01 PMWITHERED HAND RECEIVES U.S. VISA IN TIME FOR SXSW
Posted by Jef at March 9, 2011 6:20 PMCHARLIE SHEEN TOPPLES GADDAFI, LIBERATES TIBET, DISBANDS AL QAEDA AND PETA; ELECTED HEAD OF THE UN FOR LIFE
Posted by Calum at March 9, 2011 6:23 PMYOUR VOTE COUNTS; TRUE DEMOCRACY TO FOLLOW
Posted by Jef at March 9, 2011 6:23 PMWITHERED HAND RECEIVES US VISA
Posted by Calum at March 9, 2011 6:27 PMFREE PIZZA FOR LIFE
Posted by Nathan at March 9, 2011 6:37 PMI AM IN LOVE
WITH YOU!
Posted by mare at March 9, 2011 6:57 PMKING'S HORSES AND MEN FINALLY REASSEMBLE HUMPTY DUMPTY.
Posted by Leo at March 9, 2011 6:57 PMFRIENDLY ALIENS LOOKING LIKE UNICORNS MAKE CONTACT.
Posted by mare at March 9, 2011 6:59 PMPALIN FINALLY HAS ORGASM, RETIRES FROM POLITICS
Posted by Kevin at March 9, 2011 8:24 PMFREE MARTIN GUITAR FOR EACH SUBMITTED HEADLINE
Posted by John Governale at March 9, 2011 10:57 PM
and it will begin playing. All songs are also available to download: just right-click the link and choose 'Save as...'
