Otis Rush - "Double Trouble"

Lying on my back, drooling blood onto a bib, the last thing I wanted to hear was "Hotel California." Not that I should have been surprised; rarely has a dentist's appointment been endured without the exacerbating sonic stimulus of the Eagles' signature tune. The faulty psychology that leads dentists to fill their examination rooms with "soothing" soft rock is as fallacious as the logic that a lifetime's worth of twice-annual dental appointments is better than losing your teeth at thirty and having to suck processed filet mignon through a straw for the rest of your life. No, the only thing that made me more depressed than finding out that I have three cavities - one for each year since my last such rendezvous - was finding it out to a soundtrack of Don Henley. In future, dentists, please cease all manipulativeness; please be frank; please play only Otis Rush while you inflict your iniquities; please dim the lights real low - I don't care if your vision is impaired; please turn the heat way up; please provide scotch, not water, for me to rinse my mouth with. O you doctors of the teeth, let's call a spade a spade; an appointment with you isn't sun-soaked, but dark, dark blue.

Elizabeth Cotten - "Hallelujah, It Is Done"

[Buy Otis, Liz]