Apoptosis
by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


 

Celldeath.jpg

Intelligence - "Pony People"

It's Friday night, and I'm in line again for the bathroom. Unwisely, an unknown (to me) world government organization has decided, sometime in the last year or so, to toilet train the entire world. But, like, everything. Dogs and cats were the easiest, then rodents, birds, and bugs. Large mammals and large reptiles, bears elephants crocs and gilas, have all learned to use the bathroom in an anthropoid manner. Weirdly enough, this was effective in eliminating old notions of property, since you're constantly barraged with animals big and small, ringing your doorbell and politely asking to use the loo, meanwhile, 15 of their friends are sneaking in your window to hog the commode. Futurists are predicting the Toilet Wars will arise within the next year or so, erupting most likely, they say, from a breakdown of one of the very lines I'm currently standing in. But we all know, this won't be a war for Toilets, as the politicians will try to portray it, it will be a war for the hearts and minds of all dignified entities on earth, wishing to eliminate their waste in a dignified way. And that is something worth fighting for.

Arrows, and arrows, and arrows, and arrows. And eros. And arrows.

[MySpace][Released May 26][on the increasingly unstoppable In The Red Records][more from In The Red soon]

Posted by Dan at April 24, 2009 11:33 PM
Comments

I loved reading that.

Really loved it.

Posted by Vinchenzo Liloso at April 25, 2009 6:54 PM

Heh, this was great!

Posted by Marc at April 25, 2009 7:35 PM

what do they have to do with wounded lion? same band? just a cover? or another collective thing? like the wounded lion, sounds like they listened to a few new zealand bands. which aint band mind...love that big rock and roll circle.

Posted by Belly Hop at April 26, 2009 8:42 PM

@ belly hop: i think intell and wounded lion are buddies. the dude from wl sings on the song "singles barge" on the new intelligence album. & yr right, they both have that kiwi sound.

Posted by me at April 27, 2009 10:15 AM

That person's toes are like my toes, with less hair!

Posted by hairy web-toes. at April 28, 2009 2:04 PM

this is fantastic.

Posted by karin at April 29, 2009 6:02 AM

what the hell is wrong with your toes!!!! 3:

Posted by kaufman at May 4, 2009 7:52 PM

just wanted to take a minute to tell you that you have a great site! Keep up the good work.

Posted by Apoptosis at February 1, 2011 2:45 AM

Post a comment







(Please be patient, it can be slow.)
about said the gramophone
This is a daily sampler of really good songs. All tracks are posted out of love. Please go out and buy the records.

To hear a song in your browser, click the and it will begin playing. All songs are also available to download: just right-click the link and choose 'Save as...'

All songs are removed within a few weeks of posting.

Said the Gramophone launched in March 2003, and added songs in November of that year. It was one of the world's first mp3blogs.

If you would like to say hello, find out our mailing addresses or invite us to shows, please get in touch:
Montreal, Canada: Sean
Toronto, Canada: Emma
Montreal, Canada: Jeff
Montreal, Canada: Mitz

Please don't send us emails with tons of huge attachments; if emailing a bunch of mp3s etc, send us a link to download them. We are not interested in streaming widgets like soundcloud: Said the Gramophone posts are always accompanied by MP3s.

If you are the copyright holder of any song posted here, please contact us if you would like the song taken down early. Please do not direct link to any of these tracks. Please love and wonder.

"And I shall watch the ferry-boats / and they'll get high on a bluer ocean / against tomorrow's sky / and I will never grow so old again."
about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

Jeff Miller is a Montreal-based writer and zinemaker. He is the author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True and a bunch of other stories. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Say hello on Twitter or email.

Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

Site design and header typography by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet. The header graphic is randomized: this one is by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet.
PAST AUTHORS
Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
our patrons
Said the Gramophone does not take advertising. We are supported by the incredible generosity of our readers. These were our donors in 2013.
watch StG's wonderful video contest winners
search


Archives
elsewhere
our favourite blogs
(◊ means they write about music)

Back to the World
La Blogothèque
Weird Canada
Destination: Out
Endless Banquet
A Grammar (Nitsuh Abebe)
Ill Doctrine
A London Salmagundi
Dau.pe
Words and Music
Petites planétes
Gorilla vs Bear
Herohill
Silent Shout
Clouds of Evil
The Dolby Apposition
Awesome Tapes from Africa
Molars
Daytrotter
Matana Roberts
Pitchfork Reviews Reviews
i like you [podcast]
Musicophilia
Anagramatron
Nicola Meighan
Fluxblog
radiolab [podcast]
CKUT Music
plethoric pundrigrions
Wattled Smoky Honeyeater
The Clear-Minded Creative
Torture Garden
LPWTF?
Passion of the Weiss
Juan and Only
Horses Think
White Hotel
Then Play Long (Marcello Carlin)
Uno Moralez
Coming Up For Air (Matt Forsythe)
ftrain
my love for you is a stampede of horses
It's Nice That
Marathonpacks
Song, by Toad
In Focus
AMASS BLOG
Inventory
Waxy
WTF [podcast]
Masalacism
The Rest is Noise (Alex Ross)
Goldkicks
My Daguerreotype Boyfriend
The Hood Internet

things we like in Montreal
eat:
st-viateur bagel
café olimpico
Euro-Deli Batory
le pick up
lawrence
kem coba
le couteau
au pied de cochon
mamie clafoutis
tourtière australienne
chez boris
ripples
alati caserta
vices & versa
+ paltoquet, cocoa locale, idée fixe, patati patata, the sparrow, pho tay ho, qin hua dumplings, caffé italia, hung phat banh mi, caffé san simeon, meu-meu, pho lien, romodos, patisserie guillaume, patisserie rhubarbe, kazu, lallouz, maison du nord, cuisine szechuan &c

shop:
phonopolis
drawn + quarterly
+ bottines &c

shows:
casa + sala + the hotel
blue skies turn black
montreal improv theatre
passovah productions
le cagibi
cinema du parc
pop pmontreal
yoga teacher Thea Metcalfe


(maga)zines
Cult Montreal
The Believer
The Morning News
McSweeney's
State
The Skinny

community
ILX