by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.



Intelligence - "Pony People"

It's Friday night, and I'm in line again for the bathroom. Unwisely, an unknown (to me) world government organization has decided, sometime in the last year or so, to toilet train the entire world. But, like, everything. Dogs and cats were the easiest, then rodents, birds, and bugs. Large mammals and large reptiles, bears elephants crocs and gilas, have all learned to use the bathroom in an anthropoid manner. Weirdly enough, this was effective in eliminating old notions of property, since you're constantly barraged with animals big and small, ringing your doorbell and politely asking to use the loo, meanwhile, 15 of their friends are sneaking in your window to hog the commode. Futurists are predicting the Toilet Wars will arise within the next year or so, erupting most likely, they say, from a breakdown of one of the very lines I'm currently standing in. But we all know, this won't be a war for Toilets, as the politicians will try to portray it, it will be a war for the hearts and minds of all dignified entities on earth, wishing to eliminate their waste in a dignified way. And that is something worth fighting for.

Arrows, and arrows, and arrows, and arrows. And eros. And arrows.

[MySpace][Released May 26][on the increasingly unstoppable In The Red Records][more from In The Red soon]

Posted by Dan at April 24, 2009 11:33 PM

I loved reading that.

Really loved it.

Posted by Vinchenzo Liloso at April 25, 2009 6:54 PM

Heh, this was great!

Posted by Marc at April 25, 2009 7:35 PM

what do they have to do with wounded lion? same band? just a cover? or another collective thing? like the wounded lion, sounds like they listened to a few new zealand bands. which aint band mind...love that big rock and roll circle.

Posted by Belly Hop at April 26, 2009 8:42 PM

@ belly hop: i think intell and wounded lion are buddies. the dude from wl sings on the song "singles barge" on the new intelligence album. & yr right, they both have that kiwi sound.

Posted by me at April 27, 2009 10:15 AM

That person's toes are like my toes, with less hair!

Posted by hairy web-toes. at April 28, 2009 2:04 PM

this is fantastic.

Posted by karin at April 29, 2009 6:02 AM

what the hell is wrong with your toes!!!! 3:

Posted by kaufman at May 4, 2009 7:52 PM

just wanted to take a minute to tell you that you have a great site! Keep up the good work.

Posted by Apoptosis at February 1, 2011 2:45 AM

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about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

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Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
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Back to the World
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Ill Doctrine
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Words and Music
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Silent Shout
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Pitchfork Reviews Reviews
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CKUT Music
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Passion of the Weiss
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Horses Think
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My Daguerreotype Boyfriend
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