chicken soup for the paleolithic teen's soul
by Mitz
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


Pheromoans - "Trusthouse Blues" [buy]
Cave - "Ravens Hash" [buy]
Nanimal - "Mother Father" [buy]

"Oh man! It's so cold today! Never ending winter is killing my vibe!" It was 685944 years ago today, Uggo said it to his friend Roko, who was still asleep over by the leftover wild boar corpse they hunted and ate last night. "That was such a feast! Well done! no pun intended, hahah." Roko was still sleeping but Uggo laughed alone anyways, which woke Roko up. "Did you like the Kale salad I made? Did you like it? Apparently, it's good if you make it crispy. Everyone in my cave is into it. I'm thinking about adding dairy and gluten into my diet. What do you think? Anyway, get up! We have to get going!" It was already late afternoon, Uggo and Roko, who were in their mid teens, had told their parents that they were going hunting a couple of days ago, but they were actually just going to this music event called, Mammoth festival. Roko's cousin organized it and Roko asked for a V.I.P.(very important paleolithic) pass, but he didn't get a reply so Uggo had to ask for one from his friend's band, Primal Skream, who were playing the fest, for guestlist spots. He sent a smoke signal asking for guestlist, but he also didn't get a reply. So they were not sure if they would get in, but they didn't want to miss the chance to see their favorite drum circle group, Dinasour Sr, reuniting. "Dude! I can't wait to see them hit the drums! Apparently, they are super loud even though their are only three members!" They only had about 63 more days of walking ahead to get to the Mammoth fest. "Oh man, I'm so excited!" Uggo said as he walked proudly decked out in his new mammoth skin jacket made by a local designer, which he had traded for with an artisan spear that he had crafted from saber tooth tiger canines, and teak.

They walked and walked and were getting close when, Uggo pointed at the sky with a look in his face like he saw a T-rex. "Oh you see that smoke?!" Uggo asked Roko. "I think it's my friend, Bobu from Primal Skream......"

They both realized at the same time the smoke signal saying, "Sorry dudes, we don't have any more spots left......."

".................Mammoth fest is so full of lame people anyways."
"Ya true, kids these days, they just go to party. they don't appreciate real musicians, fxck them."
"I'm gonna send another smoke signal to my friends to find out where the after party is before it gets dark."

(photo source)

Posted by Mitz at April 1, 2015 12:04 PM

Could you tag the mp3s better please :)?

Posted by Pierre at April 2, 2015 6:22 AM

This made me giggle (in a good way)

Posted by Michelle at April 8, 2015 1:55 PM

Post a comment

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about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

Jeff Miller is a Montreal-based writer and zinemaker. He is the author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True and a bunch of other stories. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Say hello on Twitter or email.

Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

Site design and header typography by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet. The header graphic is randomized: this one is by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet.
Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
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our favourite blogs
(◊ means they write about music)

Back to the World
La Blogothèque
Weird Canada
Destination: Out
Endless Banquet
A Grammar (Nitsuh Abebe)
Ill Doctrine
A London Salmagundi
Words and Music
Petites planétes
Gorilla vs Bear
Silent Shout
Clouds of Evil
The Dolby Apposition
Awesome Tapes from Africa
Matana Roberts
Pitchfork Reviews Reviews
i like you [podcast]
Nicola Meighan
radiolab [podcast]
CKUT Music
plethoric pundrigrions
Wattled Smoky Honeyeater
The Clear-Minded Creative
Torture Garden
Passion of the Weiss
Juan and Only
Horses Think
White Hotel
Then Play Long (Marcello Carlin)
Uno Moralez
Coming Up For Air (Matt Forsythe)
my love for you is a stampede of horses
It's Nice That
Song, by Toad
In Focus
WTF [podcast]
The Rest is Noise (Alex Ross)
My Daguerreotype Boyfriend
The Hood Internet

things we like in Montreal
st-viateur bagel
café olimpico
Euro-Deli Batory
le pick up
kem coba
le couteau
au pied de cochon
mamie clafoutis
tourtière australienne
chez boris
alati caserta
vices & versa
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drawn + quarterly
+ bottines &c

casa + sala + the hotel
blue skies turn black
montreal improv theatre
passovah productions
le cagibi
cinema du parc
pop pmontreal
yoga teacher Thea Metcalfe

Cult Montreal
The Believer
The Morning News
The Skinny