Enough to Kill
by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


~guest post by Roger Bainbridge~

Michael Nyman - "Franklyn"

I also remember the day I found dad in the backyard with a rifle. One of the houseboys was using a skeet launcher to fling the heads of some of the mannequins into the air for dad to shoot. Dad was crying, but that wasn't uncommon.

Dad had met mom at design school. She was beginning a study of ergonomics, he, dallying in ceramics. He told me that the first night they made love he had a dream that he was visiting his parents, my grandparents, and that their house was filled with snakes to which they seemed oblivious. They also refused to acknowledge his birthday, which it was in the dream and, oddly, is today. Though he had no serious quarrel with them in his waking life, the next day, the first thing he did was renounce them. Mom never asked him to do this.

And there he was, in his musty housecoat, his shot rate an admirable 7 for 9 considering how the tears blurred his vision. I was back at the estate because my sister Suze has told me the divorce was going poorly. Well, that and things on my end seemed as though they could benefit by some time away. And sure enough, the five days I had spent with him at that point were filled with silent walks and meals punctuated with heavy sighs. I tried to remember some advice he had given me in the past that might find repurposing here, but nothing came to me, which was frustrating because I always cherished the lessons he gave me.

I once asked mom why she dropped out of school and she mumbled something about how chairs just design themselves in the end. In any case, dad ended up following her to the west coast. On their first night in Pasadena, Dad dreamt he and mom were locked in a mall overnight and they entertained each other by putting on a fashion show, trying on all the clothes they'd never be able to afford, her looking gorgeous in the impossible dresses of his subconscious. When he woke, he told mom he was quitting ceramics. She never asked him to do this. Instead, he told her, he was going to design a mannequin based on her so that even if they spent their life in squalor, she'd be dressed in the highest fashions somewhere. The romance wasn't lost on her, but I think she felt the symbolism of the thing meant something else.

And so I finished my coffee and went inside to call Suze. The day's tally was 11 hits for 16 pulls.


Posted by Dan at June 3, 2014 1:18 AM
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about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

Jeff Miller is a Montreal-based writer and zinemaker. He is the author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True and a bunch of other stories. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Say hello on Twitter or email.

Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

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Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
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