Every 1's winner.
by Mitz
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(photo source)

Hot Chocolate - "Every 1's a winner" [Buy]

I played a lot of sports growing up. Especially, basketball. When I moved to Canada, I joined my high school team. As I mentioned in other posts, I moved to a really small town which had only KFC and Chinese restaurant, so between 8 kids did "try-outs" for the team, I was named a captain of the junior team. Of course, all the 8 kids who "tried out" got on team. I couldn't speak very good English that time. As a captain, you shake hands of opponent team's captain and referees before the game. One referee who looked like Drew Carry meets Drew Barrymore said something to both of us. It was probably something like, "you guys play clean and have fun!" Usually, if I didn't understand I just smiled and walked away. and the coach and my teammates ask me what the refs said. I just shrug and tell them. "I don't know." During the game coach told me something for tactics but again, he was excited and spoke really fast so I didn't quite understand. I just nodded with deep thoughts look like Carl Sagan on my face. My teammates yelling something to everyone including me on the court but I didn't understand but gave a thumbs up like Roger Ebert. I was a captain that couldn't really communicate with my teammates.

This happened to me all my life but every time, I play sports, the team I'm on, always lose. This happens to me for anything, even drunken charades, bowling or card games. If it was just for one sport or a game, I gladly admit that I suck at it but it happens to me almost everything I play with friends and families. One game, we were up by 2 points and last shot of the game, opposing team scored buzzer beater 3-points just like a movie ending except I was in the opposite team as a captain. I saw them hugging and giving extreme high fives where they jump and miss their high fives but in their follow through, they just hug using that jumping momentum and keep hug and jumping, pointing at sky. I was just watching them celebrate in slow motion. I think I'm cursed for competition ever though I always gave "110%" or even "stepped up the plate and give all I've got"

Every time, I watch some youtube clips of a miracle shot or biggest comebacks, I only look at the team that just lost in a devastating way, they are always out of focus in the background of the winning team like a famous Big Foot photo. But for me, every 1's a winner.

Posted by Mitz at November 4, 2015 6:55 PM

This is great and so human. I wish I could figure out how to make my early disastrous sports efforts into a hilarious-sad story like this one.

Posted by Lindsey at December 29, 2015 10:05 AM

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Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

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Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

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