I know a man in trouble with his pet crow.
by Mitz
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


(photo source)

Sheer Agony - "Pet Crow" [buy]

Lindsey Buckingham - "Trouble" [buy]

Man Woman Child - "I know a man" [buy]

Jim had lost everything. He opened a vape shop two years ago with his soon-to-be-ex wife, Sharon. At the beginning, his vape store, Vapes of Wrath, did really well but soon the neighbourhood was filled with vape stores and they killed each others business. It got stressful and he started drinking again, which made him and Sharon fight all the time. They fought over stupid little things like misplacing the TV remote, Sharon clipping her toenails in bed, how many parking tickets they each got, or whether Reese WItherspoon was funny in Legally Blonde etc. etc.
Eventually Sharon left Jim. Just like that, one night Jim came home from the bar and she was gone. She even took their dog, Reese, a 4 year old golden retriever. Jim and Sharon didn't have kids so they doted on Reese even though she couldn't catch food in the air like other dogs.

After all that, Jim was sitting in a park vaping on a sunny afternoon. The park is full of people having a good time with each other. "What kind of a dumb sport is that?" he thought, looking at some guys trying to walk on a rope tied between two trees. "No one wants to hear you sing your stupid songs." he whispered to himself looking at a young guy playing guitar. "Oh god, selfie sticks!" he actually said out loud. As he said it, a teenage couple on the next bench stopped putting their tongues in and out of each others mouths to look over at him, the people who were walking on the tight rope fell off and stared at him, some other people who were sword fighting had a ceasefire for 3 seconds and looked over. Jim was already so upset he didn't care. Then after a moment everyone went back to what they were already doing.

"I know how you feel" Jim heard someone say. He looked around but there was no one close by. Just a crow. Then the crow said "That's right, I'm a crow who can talk." Jim heard it and looked at the crow. "I can talk like the cats in the Murakami book, Kafka on the Shore." The crow continued. ".....what? Murakami...? what are you talking about?" Jim was confused. "Just kidding! look over at that camera! It's a Just for Laughs gag!" Just then a guy came out from behind a bush and pointed at a hidden camera. Jim laughed and waved at the camera.

Posted by Mitz at May 6, 2015 9:15 PM
Post a comment

(Please be patient, it can be slow.)
about said the gramophone
This is a daily sampler of really good songs. All tracks are posted out of love. Please go out and buy the records.

To hear a song in your browser, click the and it will begin playing. All songs are also available to download: just right-click the link and choose 'Save as...'

All songs are removed within a few weeks of posting.

Said the Gramophone launched in March 2003, and added songs in November of that year. It was one of the world's first mp3blogs.

If you would like to say hello, find out our mailing addresses or invite us to shows, please get in touch:
Montreal, Canada: Sean
Toronto, Canada: Emma
Montreal, Canada: Jeff
Montreal, Canada: Mitz

Please don't send us emails with tons of huge attachments; if emailing a bunch of mp3s etc, send us a link to download them. We are not interested in streaming widgets like soundcloud: Said the Gramophone posts are always accompanied by MP3s.

If you are the copyright holder of any song posted here, please contact us if you would like the song taken down early. Please do not direct link to any of these tracks. Please love and wonder.

"And I shall watch the ferry-boats / and they'll get high on a bluer ocean / against tomorrow's sky / and I will never grow so old again."
about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

Jeff Miller is a Montreal-based writer and zinemaker. He is the author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True and a bunch of other stories. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Say hello on Twitter or email.

Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

Site design and header typography by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet. The header graphic is randomized: this one is by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet.
Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
our patrons
Said the Gramophone does not take advertising. We are supported by the incredible generosity of our readers. These were our donors in 2013.
watch StG's wonderful video contest winners

our favourite blogs
(◊ means they write about music)

Back to the World
La Blogothèque
Weird Canada
Destination: Out
Endless Banquet
A Grammar (Nitsuh Abebe)
Ill Doctrine
A London Salmagundi
Words and Music
Petites planétes
Gorilla vs Bear
Silent Shout
Clouds of Evil
The Dolby Apposition
Awesome Tapes from Africa
Matana Roberts
Pitchfork Reviews Reviews
i like you [podcast]
Nicola Meighan
radiolab [podcast]
CKUT Music
plethoric pundrigrions
Wattled Smoky Honeyeater
The Clear-Minded Creative
Torture Garden
Passion of the Weiss
Juan and Only
Horses Think
White Hotel
Then Play Long (Marcello Carlin)
Uno Moralez
Coming Up For Air (Matt Forsythe)
my love for you is a stampede of horses
It's Nice That
Song, by Toad
In Focus
WTF [podcast]
The Rest is Noise (Alex Ross)
My Daguerreotype Boyfriend
The Hood Internet

things we like in Montreal
st-viateur bagel
café olimpico
Euro-Deli Batory
le pick up
kem coba
le couteau
au pied de cochon
mamie clafoutis
tourtière australienne
chez boris
alati caserta
vices & versa
+ paltoquet, cocoa locale, idée fixe, patati patata, the sparrow, pho tay ho, qin hua dumplings, caffé italia, hung phat banh mi, caffé san simeon, meu-meu, pho lien, romodos, patisserie guillaume, patisserie rhubarbe, kazu, lallouz, maison du nord, cuisine szechuan &c

drawn + quarterly
+ bottines &c

casa + sala + the hotel
blue skies turn black
montreal improv theatre
passovah productions
le cagibi
cinema du parc
pop pmontreal
yoga teacher Thea Metcalfe

Cult Montreal
The Believer
The Morning News
The Skinny