ON VIC CHESNUTT
by Sean
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


 

Vic Chesnutt died on Christmas Day. He was a songwriter who lived in Athens, Georgia. He wrote one of my favourite songs of this year, a song about flirting with death, a song where he sang with forceful life: "No, I am not ready." I don't know what to do with the fact that now he is gone. I do not know whether to be sad. Maybe he was ready.

No, listen, I have to be honest: I'm so angry. I'm not sad. I'm angry. Angry at a healthcare system, yes, that betrays its citizens. Angry at Vic Chesnutt, for leaving us. But more than anything, angry at those black moments, those tiny fucking black moments, like cinders, that alight on your shoulders and cloak the stars and let life seem so easy to wink out. I don't believe in fate, or justice, or a natural order. Those black moments don't come because they're deserved. They happen because they fucking happen: the way 2:59pm happens, the way December 25th happens, the way one morning you wake up and you feel like shit. They're like the opposite of wonders. They are small, mundane dooms. And for all the loves, friendships, treatments, medications, songs and stories, there will always be some of these small dooms left, winging.

I am not as familiar with Vic Chesnutt as I wish I were. He recorded 16 albums in less than 20 years, four in the last two. His songs were so rich - wild and peppered. I listened to them one at a time. They made me feel ugly, sometimes; or very beautiful. They reminded me of the dooms. But also they reminded me of life, of perseverence and celebration (and also more modest things: petty grievances, urban folklore, girls in gingham dresses).

I do hope that maybe, somehow, somewhere, in some manner I am not quite able to believe in, Vic Chesnutt is at peace and dancing. These past days, I have been unable to listen to his music. I am unable to now, and so there is no dandy mp3 for you here. (Those who do not know Vic's work, look here, here, here, here.) But I suppose I have the rest of my life to listen to his songs. And I will try to chase away those black moments when I glimpse them. I will go into rooms and say: Get. I will light fires where fires have gone out. I will furiously try, for Vic and all the others.

Please donate to Vic Chesnutt's family.

Posted by Sean at December 29, 2009 12:04 AM
Comments

exactly.

Posted by BMR at December 29, 2009 9:08 AM

I'm going to check out his music now :)

Posted by Modern Zen at December 29, 2009 12:55 PM

this is awful, and it makes me sad. i was just talking about vic chesnutt to someone the other day, on christmas, maybe. about how wonderful he was. about how his music had changed my life.

Posted by Samantha at December 29, 2009 1:14 PM

Well said, Sean. Rest In Peace, Vic. And readers, donate if you can.

Posted by David Belbin at December 29, 2009 1:22 PM

I don't understand : why would you give money to his family ?

Posted by derp herp. at December 29, 2009 1:26 PM

I have assumed that it's to cover his still outstanding $30,000 in hospital debt. (Let alone his funeral.)

Posted by Sean at December 29, 2009 1:42 PM

How heartbreaking to see him go when I was just getting to know his work. Rest in peace, Vic, your music is lovely.

Posted by Heather at December 29, 2009 1:51 PM

thanks sean.

as someone who has gone through the horrors vic has, i understand his choice all too well. i always wonder what would happen if i ran out of money and help, truly felt like i was burden on others all the time rather than some of the time, even on those that love me most. i understand why he chose death. i'm just so sad that he did. it's so hard to live this life as it is. may his family and friends - he sure had good, if not rich, ones - find peace.

Posted by trina at December 29, 2009 6:15 PM

Thanks for this post :)
From the european point of view, it's hard to believe that things like this can happen in a civilised country.

I really hope he is somewhere at peace and dancing. Or just happy.

Posted by Mrs Jones at December 30, 2009 6:19 PM

"I have assumed that it's to cover his still outstanding $30,000 in hospital debt"

Oh, ok. Thanks for your answer, Sean.

Posted by derp herp. at December 30, 2009 6:41 PM

thank you sean

vic was a tormented genius, it is true- but he was also wickedly funny as well as a beautifully soulful poet

somewhere he is free now, and flying

Posted by rb at December 30, 2009 8:58 PM

Sean, your words above are some comfort, and I wonder, too, when I can listen again. I feel like I should but can't. His music always seemed to champion strength over those dark dark impulses. It's hard to believe someone who could provide such comfort to others couldn't find it himself.

Posted by Chandler at December 30, 2009 9:00 PM

I was there for that first video you posted. It was shot a month before he died in Saskatoon in a house. It was one of the best shows I have ever been to.
The show was being filmed for a Saskatchewan TV show called Neighbor's Dog.
The sound was really loud, but it was that great balance of loud where it is uncomfortable, but not painful. I'm not too sure when the show is actually airing, but you can get more info on this website:
http://www.theneighborsdog.tv/

Posted by april at January 1, 2010 6:36 PM

Thanks for words Sean. They summed up exactly how I too was feeling about his death.

Posted by The Speakers at January 5, 2010 7:05 PM

I too, was in the beginning phases of delving deeper into Vic's long and illustrious career when I'd gotten the news. The day before I'd purchased "At the Cut" and was listening to "When the Bottom Fell Out" (one of my favorites from that album) when I saw it. One of the saddest moments of my life. It's as sad as thinking about how we'd gotten to a Jay Reatard in-store too late and the show was over but managed to glimpse him hanging outside the venue (Atomic Records) - both of which are gone now as well. It's been a sad past few weeks for some of the musicians that inspired me the most as a musician and as a writer. However, it MUST be said, that this entire post was absolutely bursting with some of the greatest writing I've ever seen in a blog and for that, even if it was prompted by an unfortunate loss, I applaud and thank you. It was truly beautiful and a fitting tribute to a man who deserved, and understood, each and every word.

Posted by Steven S at January 16, 2010 4:43 AM

Post a comment







(Please be patient, it can be slow.)
about said the gramophone
This is a daily sampler of really good songs. All tracks are posted out of love. Please go out and buy the records.

To hear a song in your browser, click the and it will begin playing. All songs are also available to download: just right-click the link and choose 'Save as...'

All songs are removed within a few weeks of posting.

Said the Gramophone launched in March 2003, and added songs in November of that year. It was one of the world's first mp3blogs.

If you would like to say hello, find out our mailing addresses or invite us to shows, please get in touch:
Montreal, Canada: Sean
Toronto, Canada: Emma
Montreal, Canada: Jeff
Montreal, Canada: Mitz

Please don't send us emails with tons of huge attachments; if emailing a bunch of mp3s etc, send us a link to download them. We are not interested in streaming widgets like soundcloud: Said the Gramophone posts are always accompanied by MP3s.

If you are the copyright holder of any song posted here, please contact us if you would like the song taken down early. Please do not direct link to any of these tracks. Please love and wonder.

"And I shall watch the ferry-boats / and they'll get high on a bluer ocean / against tomorrow's sky / and I will never grow so old again."
about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

Jeff Miller is a Montreal-based writer and zinemaker. He is the author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True and a bunch of other stories. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Say hello on Twitter or email.

Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

Site design and header typography by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet. The header graphic is randomized: this one is by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet.
PAST AUTHORS
Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
our patrons
Said the Gramophone does not take advertising. We are supported by the incredible generosity of our readers. These were our donors in 2013.
watch StG's wonderful video contest winners
search


Archives
elsewhere
our favourite blogs
(◊ means they write about music)

Back to the World
La Blogothèque
Weird Canada
Destination: Out
Endless Banquet
A Grammar (Nitsuh Abebe)
Ill Doctrine
A London Salmagundi
Dau.pe
Words and Music
Petites planétes
Gorilla vs Bear
Herohill
Silent Shout
Clouds of Evil
The Dolby Apposition
Awesome Tapes from Africa
Molars
Daytrotter
Matana Roberts
Pitchfork Reviews Reviews
i like you [podcast]
Musicophilia
Anagramatron
Nicola Meighan
Fluxblog
radiolab [podcast]
CKUT Music
plethoric pundrigrions
Wattled Smoky Honeyeater
The Clear-Minded Creative
Torture Garden
LPWTF?
Passion of the Weiss
Juan and Only
Horses Think
White Hotel
Then Play Long (Marcello Carlin)
Uno Moralez
Coming Up For Air (Matt Forsythe)
ftrain
my love for you is a stampede of horses
It's Nice That
Marathonpacks
Song, by Toad
In Focus
AMASS BLOG
Inventory
Waxy
WTF [podcast]
Masalacism
The Rest is Noise (Alex Ross)
Goldkicks
My Daguerreotype Boyfriend
The Hood Internet

things we like in Montreal
eat:
st-viateur bagel
café olimpico
Euro-Deli Batory
le pick up
lawrence
kem coba
le couteau
au pied de cochon
mamie clafoutis
tourtière australienne
chez boris
ripples
alati caserta
vices & versa
+ paltoquet, cocoa locale, idée fixe, patati patata, the sparrow, pho tay ho, qin hua dumplings, caffé italia, hung phat banh mi, caffé san simeon, meu-meu, pho lien, romodos, patisserie guillaume, patisserie rhubarbe, kazu, lallouz, maison du nord, cuisine szechuan &c

shop:
phonopolis
drawn + quarterly
+ bottines &c

shows:
casa + sala + the hotel
blue skies turn black
montreal improv theatre
passovah productions
le cagibi
cinema du parc
pop pmontreal
yoga teacher Thea Metcalfe


(maga)zines
Cult Montreal
The Believer
The Morning News
McSweeney's
State
The Skinny

community
ILX