Semiotic Rifle
by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


CPC Gangbangs - "Teenage Crimewave"

My fucking fuck landlord slumlord fucker calls me downstairs for a meeting in his "office". It's an unfinished basement that looks like it has tar barf on all the stone walls, dark and runny and his big fat mug smoking cheap cigar after cheap cigar. "You haven't been paying your rent," he says, not looking at me. "I got your cheque right here," I say, and I throw a wet cheque at his combover. "This isn't enough!" he barks, "and you can't sign your cheques with a drawing of a gun!"

Later, picked up by fucking slug crewcut goose-stepping civil slave cops, they asked me my name and I gave them my fucking business card just like I did my fucking landlord. "This isn't a name! This is a drawing of a gun!" I swear, said just like a sample in front of a song, like a, "how dare you rotten kids!" or something. BANG BANG bitches.
[Buy the seminal Mutilation Nation]

Surf City - "Headin Inside"

NOTICE TO RESIDENTS: The city has decided to implement the much-discussed program of enlivening facades. Houses will stay as they are, at their core, but individual facades will be created to reflect the spirit of that house, however the community organizer sees that spirit. Some will look like a haunted mansion from a cartoon, some like an Arabian palace, others like a cloud city, some houses will just look like a giant vegetable. You can contact your community organizer if you wish to volunteer your time, but be aware that these facades will be implemented with or without your help. Some houses will be harder to get into, some will be near impossible, but the benefits will be apparent once the program has been fully implemented. Oh my goodness, yes, there will be so many interesting ones. A western saloon, a microwave, an Arthurian castle, a ski hill, a beautiful woman, a Korean flag, a bendy straw. Yes, this will be fun. [site]

Posted by Dan at December 2, 2008 7:02 PM

I Really like the notice to residents.

Posted by dab at December 2, 2008 7:59 PM

cpc gangbangs lovers should all turn their loving attention towards their new and if-not-equally-awesome-then-pretty-close group: red mass (

Posted by samgorgonzola at December 2, 2008 11:19 PM

The CPC Gangbangs entry is the most marvelous story-in-ten-lines ever. Well done, Dan.

Posted by Catbird at December 3, 2008 8:33 AM

there was a band called "semiotic rifle" in boulder, colorado from about 1990 to about 1992.

Posted by jim at November 20, 2012 5:00 PM

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Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

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