Shoot the Rehearsal
by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


 

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Casey Dienel - "Asleep at the Wheel"

I have a lifetime achievement award from the life I spent in the world that lives in the foam on the edge of my beer glass. The ground was a white, hilly landscape, but mostly it was similar to this world, though it had the distinct characteristic of elapsing its entire history in the time it took for me to sip it into oblivion. I worked for a string of non-profits, jumped into them right after college, and lived with my girlfriend in the attic of a church that was out of the way but still bikeable. I started an online publication that featured underprivileged writers and contributors voicing their creativity and opinions in a forum that was viewed by millions. I helped raise a couple of near-extinct variety of bluebird, which was just a favour for a friend, but turned into national news. I had two heavenly blessings, and they grew up right under my nose into two of the greatest people I've met in my life. When the kids were growing up, there was always a cat or two in the house, but after they left, I never felt the need. Never married, took up guitar at 45, and started a chain of franchises; youth drop-in centers where the kids make and sell cookies and pizza. I got the award from the community when I turned 66, on my birthday actually, and I promised them all I'd repay them for the honour. So I left a stipulation in my will that my leftover earnings be divided up equally among the current population of the city. Everybody got just over a dollar when I died.
[From the DECA compilation from HUSH records. it's FREE]

Abe Vigoda - "Animal Ghosts"

I was in a grocery store once with Sean, we were getting juice or something, and there was meat being delivered. They were wheeling in the carcasses in spare carts. But they came in all at once and swarmed around us and suddenly stopped. In the span of a minute I went from standing in a regular grocery store, to being surrounded by 40 shaved calves stacked in shopping carts with their legs tied and their feet sawed off. I realised quickly this is how certain people view any meat section, that this WAS a regular grocery store for some people, a complete horror show, and all I could think was: "animal ghosts". I love my life.

[Buy Skeleton]

Posted by Dan at July 24, 2008 2:57 AM
Comments

Oh,
oh.
My favourite entries in this blog are the ones where I can't decide which are more lovely: the writings or the songs.
Thank-you.

Posted by Jo at July 24, 2008 12:46 PM

Agreed, Jo. The writing that accompanied "Asleep at the Wheel" made me smile. Thanks, Dan.

Posted by Philana at July 24, 2008 2:58 PM

Great stuff Dan... You get a lifetime achievement award just for that post.

Posted by Matthew at July 24, 2008 4:02 PM

That must be the biggest guitar ever...also, is that Gene Hackman on the accordion?

Posted by Joel Taylor at July 25, 2008 4:02 PM

Actually, it's a mandobass (mandolin bass). It was a Dr. Zhivago-themed company party, and somehow, these guys fit into the theme.

Posted by Luella at July 30, 2008 9:05 AM

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about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

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Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
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