The Dead Regenerate With Different Clothes
by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


I'm no spring chicken, I'm 47. A lot of my friends have been married and are getting divorced and they look at me like I'm some kind of savant, like I knew a secret the whole time. They say "you're so lucky, you've been single this whole time," and they want to party. And I say guys, I'm the same age as you, I got here too, I just wasn't married while I got here. And after some drinks they kind of look at me like I knew it was coming, and they ask me about my love life and I tell them the same thing, people have survived on less. They always ask about Theresa and Katie, first Theresa and then Katie. But Theresa and I dated in 2000, and Katie was in 1998, not exactly current prospects. They say I should reach out and keep them in my life and I would like to I really would but I have a problem. Whenever I'm close with someone, and then we break up, I lose the ability to talk to them. And I know what you're thinking, we all do, but I mean that I really lose all control of language. Imagine if you woke up tomorrow without hands. You'd quickly come to realize how often you use those things, and how without them you just sort of stand there and wait for an answer. It's like that, I wish I could talk to them, but in their presence, all words, all sentences, all knowledge disappears. I still have my French, what little of it I have, "merci" and the like, but they don't really like it when I respond only in broken French, and the rest is just gone gone gone. Theresa says it's my fault, that I'm just choosing to be silent or frozen, or mouth agape, but it's not in my control, it's more like the weather than the coat I choose to wear. And so I think I'm at a disadvantage compared to most people, I can't keep a single connection with anyone I've loved, you get one go with me, and after that I'm used up.

Posted by Dan at December 18, 2012 3:17 PM

This is one of the best snippets I've seen published on this site (and this site publishes some mighty fine snippets). Keep it up.

Posted by also Dan at December 18, 2012 6:57 PM

been loving your writing for a long time, Dan. Figure I should say so every once in a while.

Posted by michael at December 18, 2012 11:32 PM

Hear hear! I think everyone should say so!

Posted by Jimbob at December 19, 2012 5:49 PM

You sound just like Cheever. That's great.

Posted by K at December 22, 2012 1:40 PM

Saw the comments on this post and thought I should read the thing. It sure lived up to the hype. I don't often read the stuff on here. I just come here for the tunes mostly. But this one was real nice.

Posted by Sean but not that Sean at January 2, 2013 4:19 AM

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about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

Jeff Miller is a Montreal-based writer and zinemaker. He is the author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True and a bunch of other stories. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Say hello on Twitter or email.

Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

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Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
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our favourite blogs
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Back to the World
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Weird Canada
Destination: Out
Endless Banquet
A Grammar (Nitsuh Abebe)
Ill Doctrine
A London Salmagundi
Words and Music
Petites planétes
Gorilla vs Bear
Silent Shout
Clouds of Evil
The Dolby Apposition
Awesome Tapes from Africa
Matana Roberts
Pitchfork Reviews Reviews
i like you [podcast]
Nicola Meighan
radiolab [podcast]
CKUT Music
plethoric pundrigrions
Wattled Smoky Honeyeater
The Clear-Minded Creative
Torture Garden
Passion of the Weiss
Juan and Only
Horses Think
White Hotel
Then Play Long (Marcello Carlin)
Uno Moralez
Coming Up For Air (Matt Forsythe)
my love for you is a stampede of horses
It's Nice That
Song, by Toad
In Focus
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My Daguerreotype Boyfriend
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blue skies turn black
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