Very Kind Millionaires
by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


Cousin Dud - "Crows"
Cousin Dud - "In the Fair"

I was born with the seal of Amathon, guild of the lucky and the kind. At age 9, having been spied by an elder, a wise elder with a long blue robe, I was branded with the seal of Bunubbin, guild of the cherubs, the sprites. That gained me a position as an assistant to a nobleman, and he forced me to do many things I'd rather forget. For those years I earned the brand of Galacia, guild of those talented with beverage and rich of story. For 18 guineas I bought the brand of Falnae, guild of the raucous and rebellious, I stole a weakling's purse and recovered my fee. When I passed through the city gates of Givent I was branded Hilisynct, and joined the guild of the emotional and loving. And still I sought a higher ranking, higher still than most other people dare to dream: I wanted to bear the brand of Juuni, guild of serenity and moisture. The Juuni were unlike other humans. They emitted a perfumed rank, and pinkish glow, a heavenly quality. They walked like floating clouds and carried weight as if it were invisible, they were supremely strong. They smiled kindly, they held eye contact, they greeted and spoke slowly and thoughtfully to everyone they met. They procured sighs and wistful purrs from most strangers they passed, they spread calm. I wanted desperately to be a Juuni, but I found myself in a complicated situation. You see, the combination of the seals of Amathon, the lucky and kind, and Bunubbin, the cherubs, Galacia, the story, Falnae, the raucous, and Hilisynct, the emotional, combined to form a kind of barrier from ever receiving the brand of Juuni. It was simply impossible to be all these things at once. I tried to scrape the other brands from my skin, I soaked in turpentine for weeks, I wanted desperately to be free from them, I wanted to abandon them all for a chance at being a Juuni. But none would come off, not even one, and I was stuck as this decrepit cocktail that strung along the narrative of my life like old telephone poles lift saggy wire. My body suddenly make-shift, my life pointless without any climax, I turned to despair, and I stood facing the edge of the Juuni cliffs, the ones that are meant to be walked along the edge by Juuni for studious thought. I wanted to leap from these cliffs, and as I tipped and fell, a hand grabbed my tunic. A large Juuni, much taller than I, held me fast. "What good can this bring?" he spoke deeply and his eyes were mirrored pools, shimmering in the wind of the cliffs. "Get away from me, blasted Juuni scum," I screamed, my jealousy and inner decay finally belching forth from within. "Very well," he replied, "I will leave. But I will write your life story, and I will perform it for years, and will receive much accolades for it. I do not know you, but I will make it up." This stopped me. I suddenly felt a kind of calm, despite the raging winds. "To hell with you, Juuni," I said, "I do not need you to write my story. I'll do it myself." And decided that the Juuni had beaten me on yet another level, they had turned my spite into inspiration. And I wrote my story here today.

[download EP]

Posted by Dan at October 19, 2010 4:57 AM

"...and I was stuck as this decrepit cocktail that strung along the narrative of my life like old telephone poles lift saggy wire."

Bowled me over with this one. A brilliant, pawky, line.

Posted by Ryan at October 19, 2010 6:32 AM

I just don't know why the second song brings me back to Billy Bragg!

Posted by Pedram at October 19, 2010 12:16 PM

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Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

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