We All Knew it Would Happen
by Dan
Please note: MP3s are only kept online for a short time, and if this entry is from more than a couple of weeks ago, the music probably won't be available to download any more.


Due to server bandwidth, upload/download expansion, and CVI (computer visitation increase), Said the Gramophone will be a members-only site from now on. Please choose from any of the convenient plans below:

"StG-mini" Plan (29.99?/yr.) - full access to all the standard songs, and a synopsis of every review.

"Full Gramo" Plan (59.99?/yr.) - full access to all songs, including the 'adults only' songs which will be a weekly fixture, and full reviews from every contributing author, plus a picture of us writing the review.

"Pay-by-Post" Plan (2.99?/entry) - entries can be purchased individually, for those who can't commit for one reason or another. there will be no previews offered for p-by-p purchases.

So, the last free entry is below. Please don't think of this as the end of something free, but rather the start of something better.

at your soonest convenience, please e-mail us with your choice of plan.

- StG staff

Posted by Dan at April 1, 2005 1:36 AM

What ?

Posted by Garrincha at April 1, 2005 2:04 AM


Oh wait...

Good joke.

Posted by autotomy at April 1, 2005 2:21 AM

Heh. Good one. Had me going for a second there.

Posted by Alex at April 1, 2005 2:42 AM

You had me going for more than a second !

Posted by Garrincha at April 1, 2005 3:31 AM


Posted by mr g at April 1, 2005 3:44 AM

Most of you are still in Canada, do you accept Canadian Tire Money?

Wait, what joke?

Posted by caley at April 1, 2005 4:30 AM

"Had me going for a minute there..."

Yeah, me too [*nervous titter*]

Posted by Anonymous at April 1, 2005 4:42 AM

i'll start my own site with my own witty banter and unique commentary.

(glad to see you all at STG have FINALLY gotten a sense of humor.)

Posted by bmr at April 1, 2005 8:14 AM

i can't believe i fell for that. now i've gone and wasted a perfectly good check.

Posted by dubelclique at April 1, 2005 9:03 AM

What is today's date?

Posted by doobeedoo at April 1, 2005 9:35 AM

that was just hilarious. the funniest thing i've ever read. yay!

Posted by aaron at April 1, 2005 11:22 AM

dj dan !

Posted by Anonymous at April 1, 2005 11:46 AM

Leave your computer.

Posted by ubert at April 1, 2005 11:57 AM

$2.99 per song is reasonable considering you're introducing us to stuff we would've never ever heard before. (that's my apr.1 joke back at ya)

Posted by ok at April 1, 2005 11:57 AM

I can't visit any site today without one of these April Fool's things.

Posted by pageblank at April 1, 2005 12:06 PM

Man I was so pissed when I first read that, then I realized what day it was.

Posted by richard at April 1, 2005 2:03 PM

I did an April Fool's Joke at my mp3 blog, too. I should have known that this was just a joke, but you had me going so bad that I even took you off my links list! 60 Euros a year?!? And then having to buy the music I actually like on top of that? Ouch!

Posted by Andy at April 1, 2005 2:18 PM

i nearly cried.
ha ha ha.

Posted by Anonymous at April 1, 2005 2:42 PM

Fell for it too! With all your server problems and all... I'm still an idiot though!

Posted by Matthew at April 1, 2005 4:13 PM

Who do you make the check out to?

Posted by Tuwa at April 1, 2005 8:43 PM

You guys ripped that joke off from
ww.homestarrunner.com, didn't you.

Posted by Anonymous at April 1, 2005 11:41 PM

I was cooking up the vindictive reply when I hit the comments button. Good thing those more perceptive than I had been here first. Excellent.

Posted by Anonymous at April 2, 2005 7:25 AM

Just one factual error in an otherwise masterful joke: Europeans never use ".99" since they hate pennies (eurocents? Eurocentimes?).

There was this report that came out from the European central bank, saying how pleased they were that Euros were so quickly and universally accepted. Except the one cent pieces. And two cent pieces. And the 200, 500, and 1000 bills. No one ever used those. But otherwise!

Anyway, 59.99? That's like nine hundred dollars!

Posted by Anonymous at April 2, 2005 11:00 AM

actually, europeans do use .99 cents. (i bought easter eggs last week reduced from 1.99 to .99)
and 60 euros is in fact around 100 canadian dollars.

Posted by Anonymous at April 8, 2005 5:42 AM

Alright, good joke, dickhead.

Posted by aztoby at April 8, 2005 10:47 PM

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about the authors
Sean Michaels is the founder of Said the Gramophone. He is a writer, critic and author of the theremin novel Us Conductors. Follow him on Twitter or reach him by email here. Click here to browse his posts.

Emma Healey writes poems and essays in Toronto. She joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. This is her website and email her here.

Jeff Miller is a Montreal-based writer and zinemaker. He is the author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True and a bunch of other stories. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Say hello on Twitter or email.

Mitz Takahashi is originally from Osaka, Japan who now lives and works as a furniture designer/maker in Montreal. English is not his first language so please forgive his glamour grammar mistakes. He is trying. He joined Said the Gramophone in 2015. Reach him by email here.

Site design and header typography by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet. The header graphic is randomized: this one is by Neale McDavitt-Van Fleet.
Dan Beirne wrote regularly for Said the Gramophone from August 2004 to December 2014. He is an actor and writer living in Toronto. Any claim he makes about his life on here is probably untrue. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.

Jordan Himelfarb wrote for Said the Gramophone from November 2004 to March 2012. He lives in Toronto. He is an opinion editor at the Toronto Star. Click here to browse his posts. Email him here.
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our favourite blogs
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Back to the World
La Blogothèque
Weird Canada
Destination: Out
Endless Banquet
A Grammar (Nitsuh Abebe)
Ill Doctrine
A London Salmagundi
Words and Music
Petites planétes
Gorilla vs Bear
Silent Shout
Clouds of Evil
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Awesome Tapes from Africa
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Pitchfork Reviews Reviews
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CKUT Music
plethoric pundrigrions
Wattled Smoky Honeyeater
The Clear-Minded Creative
Torture Garden
Passion of the Weiss
Juan and Only
Horses Think
White Hotel
Then Play Long (Marcello Carlin)
Uno Moralez
Coming Up For Air (Matt Forsythe)
my love for you is a stampede of horses
It's Nice That
Song, by Toad
In Focus
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The Rest is Noise (Alex Ross)
My Daguerreotype Boyfriend
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